Zoisite is Kidnapped

ZOISITE IS KIDNAPPED By Lady Zoisite (princesszoisite@hotmail.com) C-ko: I would like to point out, that despite the different pseudonym, this is the same author who wrote “Zoisite’s Birthday Surprise”. D-ko: In other words, be prepared. B-ko: What, no introductory paragraph ranting and raving on how the female version is *far* superior to the male? A-ko: Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. “It's not fair," said Jedite. "Malachite gets to have all the fun and I'm stuck here with you." D-ko: That’s what everyone says. No one ever wants to have any fun with me! B-ko: Gee, I wonder why. C-ko: Er… I don’t believe he was talking to you. "I rather resent that," said Neflite, who was on guard duty with Jedite. The four generals were taking turns in pairs being on watch at their camp. A-ko: Camp? Where, when, why? If the author is going to take us outside of the canon settings, she should at least give us some background information. D-ko: I smell a pretense of a plot being contrived for the sake of sex. B-ko: Oh, is that what that is? Here I thought you had simply refrained from showering this morning. D-ko: Hey now! They were out on a raid and the rest of the Negaverse army was asleep under the stars. A-ko: Whom are they raiding? Arg, I need a setting here! C-ko: I could simply go for a comma or two. We’re only a few sentences into the story, and I’m already finding grammatical errors. That’s not a good sign. B-ko: Seeing this particular author’s name on the ‘fic wasn’t a good sign. "Oh, you know what I mean," said the blonde general. "I'm sure you would much rather be doing what our great and glorious leader must be doing right now." D-ko: Let me guess… he and Zoycite are “screwing around”. B-ko: (flatly) Ha ha. That was so funny. D-ko: I’m just getting you ready for the rest of this ‘fic. Malachite did not always pay full attention to his job. He got distracted on duty quite often by his partner, the pretty woman Negaverse warrior. A-ko: *snorts* Some great leader he is, then. If he can get distracted that easily, it’s no wonder the Negaverse lost. B-ko: This is Malachite, remember? D-ko: *mimicking Malachite* Ooh… look at the shiny object! Neflite grinned. Malachite no doubt was probably making love to Zoisite, the lovely female general of their army. C-ko: Alright, I think that the author has managed to grind in the point that Zoisite is not only female, but pretty as well. "You have to admit Zoisite's pretty hot," said Jedite. "Malachite is lucky to have her around." B-ko: Look, she just managed to do it again! A-ko: You know, some of the youma aren’t all that bad looking: Tetis and Oniwabandana, for example. They all have human forms as well, so what do they have to complain about; they’re surrounded by females! Neflite could agree about the 'hot' part, although he found the female general to be irritating in her sarcasm. D-ko: Eh? Sarcasm? I can’t recall Zoycite ever being truly sarcastic in any of this author’s works. She sure is irritating, though. C-ko: I believe we brought up vague pronouns in the previous MST. Are you trying to say that Zoycite is irritating, or that the author is? A-ko: I think that it could apply to both subjects in question. He and Zoisite had a rather stormy relationship. B-ko: Gee, do you think? Come on, we know that Zoycite and Nephlite dislike each other. That dislike is ripe ground for many a fanfic, so why can’t this author use that to create a *real* plot? Perhaps her feistiness could be put to better use. He could certainly think of some much better uses for it. A-ko: Oh, I’m sure he could. B-ko: Dear gods, this isn’t going to turn into some sort of Negaverse orgy, is it? D-ko: I doubt it. If you’re into that sort of thing, though, we could always go MST “When All Else Fails” after this. "Why the talk about Zoisite?" asked Neflite. He would have preferred another subject for conversation. The feisty female always stirred up mixed feelings within him. D-ko: That’s stirred, not shaken. A-ko: -_-;;;; B-ko: If they don’t talk about Zoycite, though, they’ll never get to the part about screwing her! D-ko: (sarcastically) Now that would be a pity. C-ko: …or a blessing. Jedite was silent. *crickets chirping* B-ko: What’s the matter, Jeddy, can’t think of a suitable response? A-ko: I guess Malachite isn’t the only one who got a lobotomy. "Jedite..." Neflite prompted him curiously. A-ko: You know, I’d almost swear this is a set up for a bad Nef/Jed yaoi lemon. B-ko: With this author? A-ko: Good point. "Well, I," he began with hesitation. Then he became fervent. C-ko: My, that was a sudden change! "Look, don't tell anyone, especially not Malachite, but I'm hot for her okay?!" B-ko: Like, totally! Jedite's tone dared Neflite to say anything to taunt him. Neflite found this amusing, though he knew better than to say so. Or to let Jedite see the grin spreading across his handsome features. It was now Malachite and Zoisite's turn for watch. They were late. C-ko: Whoa, wait a minute, the paragraph went from Neflite’s reaction to Jedite’s statement, to Malachite and Zoycite’s tardiness. That made the whole thing seem abrupt and awkward. "Where are they?" said Neflite. "I need a rest." He was tired of standing guard. He wanted to lie down beneath the canopy of stars. A-ko: All those two have been doing is standing around discussing Zoycite. If they’re on guard duty, shouldn’t they be making their rounds? Anyone could be sneaking into the camp behind them, and they’d never know it! C-ko: It could be a small camp… B-ko: However, the author has given us absolutely nothing to go on. The camp could be small or large. They could be in the Negaverse or somewhere on Earth, in the woods or a field. The lack of any setting is making the story seem more and more contrived. D-ko: What did you expect? Minutes went by. B-ko: I guess you were right about Jedite getting a lobotomy as well, and it looks like Neflite wasn’t spared either. Then a pretty young copper haired woman lazily strolled over, stretching as she did so. Her hair had been tousled by her lover and was falling out of the usually neat ponytail. Her clothes were wrinkled. But she looked adorable. A-ko: *grumbling* Of course she does. B-ko: You think she would take a moment to straighten herself up. It doesn’t take all that long to get oneself looking presentable. C-ko: Well, you’d also think that the author would know better than to start a sentence with a conjunction. "Nice of you to show up, Zoisite," said Neflite. Zoisite yawned and stuck her tongue out at him. B-ko: There’s that sarcastic wit in action! A-ko: Her eloquence astounds me. "And where is our head general?" D-ko: He’s probably getting head. A-ko: That was a bad one. "He's coming," Zoisite said, grinning to herself. "Get it, Zoi-girl? He's cumming," she thought. D-ko: That one was worse. A-ko: Ugh, I have to agree. B-ko: Once again, Zoycite has managed to render me breathless with her incredible, razor-sharp wit! C-ko: Wait, why would Malachite only be coming *now*? Guys can get off rather quickly. Females will sometimes experience multiple or delayed orgasms, but not males. If he is coming now, then he’s either masturbating or fooling around with a youma. D-ko: Well, Malachite displayed his slow reaction time in the previous ‘fic. I suppose it is worse than we had originally estimated. B-ko: Then again, methinks that someone has a tendency to over anylize things. C-ko: *blushes* Jedite admired the lovely woman general. It was such a shame that her uniform covered such a beautiful female figure. A-ko: *sigh* Looks like the author is denying Zoisite’s true gender once again. B-ko: How does Jedite know she has a beautiful figure? When has he seen her out of uniform? He really thought she was pretty. C-ko: That has been stated before... several times before. Unfortunately, Malachite had gotten to her first. D-ko: Come and get it! B-ko: Hey, let’s just forget about any possibility of love between Malachite and Zoycite. This story is simply making her into some sort of whore. A-ko: Either that, or she’s become some sort of prize to them. And Jedite didn't dare argue with the powerful arch general. But he could not help the thoughts rising in his mind as he imagined what she looked like under her uniform...her breasts, her nipples, her warm little... B-ko: ...shoulder? C-ko: ...elbow? A-ko: ...forearm? D-ko: ...pituitary gland? *all others* WHAT? D-ko: Never mind… "Damn youma, always causing trouble, or I would have been here sooner," said Malachite as he walked over to them. B-ko: Hey, I guess he really *was* fooling around with a youma! C-ko: Although, the term "youma" was only used in the original version of the anime, not the english dub. A-ko: I guess we can add dub/original mix-ups to list of faults. "What happened?" asked Neflite. He figured Malachite was lying, having been rolling in his tent with Zoisite all this time. D-ko: *cracking up* A-ko: What’s the matter with you? D-ko: I... *hehe* I just had this mental image of Malachite and Zoycite rolling around in a tent, literally... *snickers* Fully clothed, just rolling back and forth across the floor for no apparent reason. *dissolves into laughter once again* B-ko: *shakes head* You need help. As if it weren't obvious with Zoisite's disheveled state. C-ko: Because she couldn’t spare ten seconds to fix her hair, and another few to straighten her uniform. "Nothing I couldn't handle, of course. Now get to your tents. Zoisite and I will continue until morning," Malachite said, giving Zoisite a private meaningful glance full of innuendo that neither Neflite nor Jedite noticed. C-ko: *whimpers* A couple of commas is all I ask for... B-ko: So Malachite manages to give her a knowing look without Neflite or Jedite noticing. Yeah, sure. Zoisite flushed a little, and hid her face behind her hair. Malachite made her feel so sexy! A-ko: Out of character warning! Zoycite is once again making the transition into a blushing, simpering, little princess. C-ko: Even if Neflite and Jedite missed that innuendo-filled glance, you think they would notice Zoycite turning red and getting her hair in her face. "Yeah, well goodnight," said Neflite, not believing Malachite at all. Then to Zoisite, he said, "You know, you really ought to take more pride in your appearance. Malachite doesn't like slovenly hags." B-ko: How, pray tell, does Nephlite know what Malachite likes? D-ko: Maybe this *will* turn into a yaoi lemon… A-ko: A Malachite x Neflite yaoi lemon? *twitches* C-ko: I don’t even want to think about that. "Ooooh! What do you know, loser?" Zoisite replied. She looked fine, just a little messy. B-ko: Look at that amazing sarcasm in action! Not to mention that “loser” is the pinnacle of all insulting names. D-ko: They must have been giving out free lobotomies when they dubbed this anime. Jedite thought so too. He sighed. Why couldn't Zoisite have a crush on him, instead of that silly girl Titus? A-ko: I happen to think that Tetis was rather cool. She looked neat, in both her human form and her youma form, and she had some interesting powers to boot. A couple days later, B-ko: That was quick! A-ko: Come on, they’re on a raid! Where are they, and what went on in that couple of days? Were they successful? Did they return to the Negaverse (if they left it in the first place)? Jedite went to find Neflite. A-ko: Alright, you have to admit that this keeps looking like a yaoi lemon. B-ko: You just read too much yaoi for your own good. A-ko: *blushes* He had some good news to tell him. "Neflite?" A-ko: *mimicking Jedite* I’ve decided to kill us all, thus ending this horrid attempt at a ‘fic. D-ko: Don’t we wish. "Hmmmm?" Neflite looked up from his chair. A-ko: Did he haul a chair out with him on the raid, or is he back at his home now? I really want a setting. "Malachite is away on a mission, so why don't we have some fun with Zoisite." B-ko: Hmmm... I can think of several good reasons why not. Most of them end with those two being torn to pieces. C-ko: Why wasn't there a question mark at the end of that last sentence? A-ko: The author has no grammar knowledge, that's why. "I don't know..." D-ko: *mimicking Neflite* ...because a good deal of my brain was removed from my head, so I have lost all of my ability to think or reason. "He won't know about it... B-ko: Wow, is he delusional! Either Zoycite really *is* a whore, or she’s too dumb to realize that she’s been raped. C-ko: She might simply refrain from informing Malachite that this incident occurred. A-ko: Why would she *not* tell him that she was raped? It's our only chance, since he is away." Zoisite was rarely far from her love. It was only on Malachite's private missions that she was left behind. A-ko: Considering the fact that they can all teleport, it’s a wonder that she can ever get left behind. One or the other simply has to teleport to the other. "Well, the little vixen will probably be missing her daily doses of sex..." He could just picture Zoisite by herself, horny as ever and hating each second of it. C-ko: These two sure do a lot of fantasizing about Zoycite, don’t they? B-ko: It’s especially amazing considering the animosity between Neflite and Zoycite. Who the hell has erotic thoughts about a person s/he hates? D-ko: Neflite does, apparently. "Exactly." D-ko: See, even Jedite agrees! A-ko: -_-;;; "And what will we do? Just walk in the castle and take her?" B-ko: Horns of Cerrunos! They honestly can’t be *that* dumb… can they? C-ko: They sound like they’re talking about an object, not a person. A-ko: Perhaps Zoycite is really a blow-up doll? D-ko: Did you know that the Japanese call blow-up dolls “Dutch Wives”? A-ko: That’s it... I’m taking away your internet access. "We'll borrow her for awhile and bring her to a separate place, to be safe." B-ko: You know, I’m having trouble getting that Zoycite-as-a-blow-up-doll... D-ko: Dutch Wife. B-ko: ...image out of my head. "Kidnap Zoisite, eh?" Neflite smiled. It did have a certain irresistible charm. B-ko: So Neflite is Canadian now, eh? D-ko: Hey, you hoser, don’t insult the Canadians like that, eh! A-ko: Would you two quit it before we all have the Crowbar o’ Doom ™, heat-seeking Soap Boxes and a parrot after us? C-ko: Besides, it’s so much more fun, not to mention easier, to make fun of the United States. Zoisite heaved a sigh. A-ko: First she inhales Malachite, now she’s heaving sighs around. D-ko: How much does a sigh weigh? She was all alone in Malachite's castle. B-ko: It’s *their* castle, damnit! Her handsome lover had left her to take care of a mission for the queen. C-ko: We were already informed of that fact. Why must this author always state the obvious? Not fair! A-ko: Oh, boo hoo hoo. B-ko: This sentence no verb. C-ko: *winces* I noticed. Malachite wouldn't be back for a few days. D-ko: So *teleport* out to him! Geez, she has magical powers! She was going nuts. D-ko: I like almonds. B-ko: I prefer pistachios, myself. She read romance books, A-ko: Bad romance books, if she’s anything like the author. C-ko: Methinks the author is trying to live vicariously through Zoycite. D-ko: That would explain the pseudonyms. B-ko: It would also explain why Zoycite always acts so horribly out of character in her ‘fics. looked at sexy pictures of them together, A-ko: I’ve never understood people who take pornographic photographs of themselves. but she was not satisfied without some physical contact. D-ko: I repeat: teleport out to him! B-ko: Either that, or get a dildo. She smiled looking at the pictures she had snapped when Malachite wasn't looking - Malachite laying naked in bed, Malachite in just his shorts, Malachite bathing, Malachite in the shower... C-ko: My, what a little voyeur she is! "I want my Malachite," she thought. B-ko: Gods, not only has she turned into a prissy little princess, she’s turned into a whiney, spoiled, over-privileged princess! Her sexy handsome Malachite who pleased her beyond words and made her heart pound with desire. A-ko: Her Malachite who is slower than a turtle, has the reaction speed of a sloth, the brain capacity of a snail, fools around with the youma and is infected with leprosy! B-ko: What a guy. C-ko: She sure has some spectacular taste, doesn’t she? D-ko: What do you expect from a Dutch Wife? Zoisite decided to take a nice, warm, relaxing shower to soothe herself. D-ko: Look out, a Gratuitous Shower Scene is ahead! B-ko: What the fuck is up with all these stories containing some sort of bath/shower scene? She slipped off her green silk robe and the bra and panties that were underneath. She unbound her long coppery hair, letting it fall loose around her. Throwing a soft fluffy pink towel on top of her discarded clothes, she stepped into the marble shower that was more than roomy enough for two. Zoisite had often taken showers with her lover, helping him wash his tanned, smooth muscled body. C-ko: What wonders a simple comma could do. A-ko: Only in the grammatical sense. Otherwise, this story is beyond all hope. The rushing water prevented her from hearing two uninvited guests enter the master bedroom. B-ko: They’re actually dumb enough to try that farce of an idea? D-ko: I think it was a mercy killing when the Sailor Senshi finally destroyed them all. "She's in the shower," said Jedite. "Shall we have a look?" A-ko: *mimicking Neflite* No, I think I’ll just stay here and jerk off. Thanks for asking, though. "She'll be angry," said Neflite. B-ko: Wow, isn’t he perceptive? "I don't know if this is such a good idea." C-ko: Don’t tell me Neflite just made an intelligent comment? D-ko: It won’t last. The stupidity coming up will more than make up for that. Maybe they could put their differences aside to have some fun, and maybe they couldn't. One never knew with Zoisite. A-ko: Let’s see, if a guy I hated came by while my boyfriend was away and asked me to have sex with him, I’m pretty sure I’d say no. D-ko: This is Zoycite the Dutch Wife we’re talking about here. "You can't back out now," said Jedite. B-ko: Why the hell not? No one knows they’re there. No one knows what they want to do. What is keeping him from just turning around and leaving? "If Malachite catches us, I'm going to say this was all your doing..." C-ko: Now that’s a lame excuse. A-ko: The sad thing is, Malachite would probably buy it. "Thanks," Jedite said sarcastically. He was a bit worried about Malachite, but it was worth the risk. D-ko: Is it really? Come now, Jeddy, can’t you just go find a nice youma? Zoisite's voice could be heard singing to herself. B-ko: *winces* If her laugh is any indication of her vocal abilities, all the glass in the vicinity is probably shattering. They made themselves small so she wouldn't notice and teleported into the shower room. D-ko: Oh, so they can use their powers, but Zoycite can’t? What’s up with this? "Wow," said Jedite, admiring a naked Zoisite under the water. Soapsuds trickled down her breasts and rear, two very pretty areas, smooth and porcelain - colored. A-ko: Zoisite *does* have a nice looking rear end… C-ko: I take it you are referring to the male version, however? B-ko: Well, if you think about it, they *do* look the same. D-ko: Yeah, neither of them *have* breasts. Even Neflite had to admit she was quite lovely. "I never thought she had all that under her uniform," he said. If only she behaved more like a lady should towards him. D-ko: All what under her uniform? Does she keep a stash of junk food in there? Zoisite continued to massage herself, rinsing her private parts as the two men watched. To their surprise, she started to rub herself, deep in her womanhood, moaning a little as she did so. A-ko: Why are they surprised? Weren’t they the ones who said that she would be getting randy without Malachite around? C-ko: Perhaps they are having problems with Alzheimer’s Disease. "Look at that. She'll be glad to see us," said Jedite. He was getting very turned on watching Zoisite play with herself, all wet with the shower water. B-ko: Sure she will. You just keep telling yourself that, Jeddy. Neflite, in spite of himself, was also getting quite hot for the little vixen in the shower. How funny that she was unaware of her captivated audience. A-ko: Yeah, it’s so strange that she wouldn’t notice two little men who sneaked into the bathroom to peep in on her. "Ohhhh," moaned Zoisite as she fingered herself. D-ko: *mimicking Zoycite* Ohhh... damnit, I broke a nail! "Mmmmm..." She fingered herself, C-ko: Wasn’t the previous sentence almost exactly the same? twisting and writhing in erotic craving, wanting to feel the heaven that Malachite made her feel each night they were together. A-ko: I have one word for you, Zoycite: teleportation. It’s this amazing power that you possess. B-ko: However, I think the author has forgotten about it. Zoisite spent a few more long minutes under the shower before she shut the water flow. She reached for her towel and opened the glass shower doors, giving her onlookers quite a stunning display of her nakedness. Then she bent over to wrap the towel around her long wet hair. C-ko: They’ve been watching her this whole time, so they’ve already seen everything. How could she give them any more of a display by simply opening some glass doors? "Now!" whispered Jedite. The two generals changed back to their normal size, took a heavy sack and pulled it over the unsuspecting woman. A-ko: I don’t remember them carrying a sack in with them. B-ko: You could drive a couple of trucks through the plot holes. "Mmmmph!" Zoisite's muffled sounds of protest could be heard. "We'll take her to the abandoned dark tower," said Neflite. "No one will bother us there." C-ko: What abandoned tower? D-ko: I don’t know, but it’s existence sure is convenient. "Hey!" thought Zoisite. "What is going on?" A-ko: It would appear that you have a sack over your head. Gods, she’s such a bimbo. She thought she recognized the voice, but it couldn't be whom she thought it was...could it? Zoisite was lifted up and teleported away. D-ko: See, they can teleport! Why can’t she? B-ko: I'm just surprised that she can't seem to recognize Jedite and Neflite's voices. I mean, she only works with them on a daily basis! Inside the dark tower, Zoisite was deposited on the cold stone floor. She was shivering, still dripping wet from her shower. And it was so dark! A-ko: My she’s observant! No wonder she’s with Malachite. B-ko: Birds of a feather flock together. She couldn't see a thing! C-ko: That tends to happen when one is in the dark. Especially when one has a sack over one’s head. Usually she was brave but she was beginning to be frightened. A-ko: Why has this particular occurrence caused her to suddenly lose her bravery. I could understand it if there was something horribly dire about the situation, say she saw Malachite being tortured. However, this apparent change of heart has come out of nowhere. She trembled as she heard the muffled sounds of her captors conversing with each other. B-ko: Why doesn’t she do something? She could at least take the sack off her head, run or fight. C-ko: Then there’s also her magic. She could conjure one of her ice-spears, or blast her attackers with wind and cherry blossoms. D-ko: There’s also the aforementioned teleportation. Suddenly, arms were holding her and the sack was pulled away. Zoisite blinked her eyes, looking around. She was in some sort of dimly lit tower room. She was cold. There were two pairs of boots standing in front of her. And she was naked! She was very aware of that fact as she raised her head to see who had dared to do this... B-ko: I’m glad she has managed to once again note the obvious. Zoisite gasped, seeing Neflite and Jedite standing over her. Jedite was staring in awe of her naked beauty, hungrily taking in her female form. D-ko: When did Jedite become a cannibal? A-ko: Who would want to eat Zoycite, anyway? Who knows where she’s been? Neflite smirked at her. "Hello, little minx," he said. B-ko: If he had said, "Little Rat," I would be forced to kill the author for using Stayka-sama’s nickname in this atrocity. Zoisite angrily leapt to her feet, hands on her hips. "Ooooooh!" she cried. "What is the meaning of this! How dare you..." C-ko: So she’s gone from being bewildered and afraid, to what seems more like petty annoyance. A-ko: That sudden fear, not to mention modesty, seems to have completely disappeared. D-ko: Not to mention that she *still* hasn’t realized that she can use magic. She was silenced by a kiss. A warm deep kiss of passion from none other than Neflite. She was totally outraged! B-ko: You tell ‘em, girlfriend! C-ko: When did Zoycite turn into a valley girl? A-ko: *mimicking Zoycite* Ew, like, Neflite is, like, kissing me, and it’s, like, totally, totally gross! Jedite took advantage of her silenced state and cupped one of her porcelain like breasts and began to kiss it hotly. D-ko: Now she’s a porcelain Dutch Wife? That can’t be too comfortable for Jedite. "How good she tastes!" thought Neflite. He had never imagined that his little "enemy" could feel so good. Well, maybe.. A-ko: Maybe...? C-ko: I’m not sure if the author simply missed one of the periods for an ellipsis, or if she was trying to end the sentence and added an extra period at the end. Jedite held Zoisite's soft breast firmly, now truly extremely jealous of Malachite. The arch lord general could do this to her anytime he wanted to, the lucky son of a bitch! B-ko: Considering that Zoycite isn’t putting up much of a fight, Jedite might as well do this anytime he wants. Zoisite's nipple hardened under Jedite's tongue, becoming a hard pink little bud. A-ko: Now she’s becoming part plant? D-ko: A porcelain Dutch Wife that grows foliage? B-ko: Perhaps she’s part Chia-Pet too. Zoisite struggled, but two men were a bit much for her to deal with. A-ko: That’s why she has magic. Gods, this is frustrating! Was this supposed to be some kind of joke? B-ko: I said the same thing after reading this ‘fic. She didn't think it was funny! D-ko: If this ‘fic *is* some kind of joke, then I don’t think it’s funny either. Still, she couldn't say that she didn't get any pleasure out of it. C-ko: Pardon? A-ko: Yeah, when a guy I don’t like kidnaps me, dumps me in a dark tower and starts sexually harassing me, it just turns me on. *rolls eyes* Zoisite was a rather lusty woman and she craved sex constantly. Once she had tasted it, she wanted to have it again and again. B-ko: There’s nothing wrong with liking sex, but this is preposterous! It’s completely out of character! D-ko: Not to mention just plain stupid. She was feeling very erotic. And she was upset because her Malachite was away! C-ko: I’d mention teleportation again, but it’s starting to get *very* old. Malachite...she could pretend that it was Malachite touching her... But she knew that it wasn't him. She had to do something... A-ko: I won’t say it... I won’t say it... I won’t say it... "Relax," said Jedite. "I know what you want." "No..no, you don't," thought Zoisite. Or did he? Zoisite was kissed and massaged all over her body. To her dismay, she was getting very hot from it. B-ko: I never understood how some guys could claim that women encouraged rape, but now I’m starting to see where they got that idea. C-ko: Has she no loyalty to the love of her life? Neflite and Jedite removed their clothes and took turns pulling her onto their laps and kissing her. Zoisite's protesting didn't do much good. D-ko: No, but a well placed ice-crystal or other magical powers would do a lot of good. She felt weaker and weaker, the fight draining out of her as her body responded to the kissing and sucking of her tender skin. A-ko: Dear gods, she was never this much of a whore in the show, was she? C-ko: There was no indication. However, given her obvious attachment to Malachite, and her revulsion of Neflite, this whole contrivance is pathetically weak. Zoisite groaned. B-ko: Yeah, I’ve been doing that myself. This story is almost painful to read. She tried not to look at their bodies, not to feel them, but her own body was a traitor to her, responding like a whore to the stimulations of her abductors. A-ko: "Stimulations"? B-ko: It looks like the author is once again making up words. C-ko: Stimulation should not be plural. The sentence should read more like, "...responding like a whore to the stimulation from her abductors." She felt a mixture of sensations, both good and bad within her. D-ko: What good feelings could she be getting from this whole scene? She shivered with cold and fever, trembled with fear and excitement. They were very handsome men of course. Any girl could see that. A-ko: That doesn’t mean a damn thing. Just because a guy is good looking is no reason for a girl to go along with them. "But don't you see?" thought Zoisite. "I...I can't do this...it just isn't right for me to do this when I have Malachite loving me... B-ko: Wow, a rational thought actually appeared in that empty head? even if I do think that you'd be great for sex..." B-ko: Forget what I said. Zoisite did think they were sexy but she had always avoided encouraging them. A-ko: That’s it, the author might as well outright state, "Zoycite is a whore!" But her rare beauty sometimes was an encouragement all on its own... D-ko: Yeah, beautiful girls are such a rarity in anime. Zoisite no longer shivered from the wetness of her shower or the coldness of the room. B-ko: Please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me that she is shivering because she is having a seizure and will die shortly. A-ko: I wish I could. She shivered and convulsed with a wanton passion. B-ko: I give up. This is so fucking out of character, it’s gone past the point of utter stupidity. She tried to shake it off, trying to concentrate on something else... D-ko: Like... magical abilities. C-ko: Just forget it, she’s not going to use them. "Would you like the front or the tail?" A-ko: Ugh... I don’t want either, considering where they’ve been. B-ko: That bloody trollop has probably been all over the Negavese. "What?!" thought Zoisite. She went stiff with shock for a moment. She fought to regain her composure. C-ko: Composure? When has she been composed during this situation? D-ko: Well, first she was frightened, then she was angry, then she was horny, and now she’s shocked. Nope, she hasn’t been composed at all. "The front," said Jedite eying Zoisite's warm, wet womanhood. Her silky pink petals that would feel like satin. D-ko: Petals? Well, I guess we were right about her being part Chia-Pet. An alarm went off in Zoisite's head. A-ko: *winces* That can’t feel too pleasant. "No!" It screamed. C-ko: So she has a screaming, talking alarm in her head? B-ko: I think that’s the *only* thing in her head. Men could kiss her, could admire her, even touch her, but no man made love to her except Malachite! A-ko: Dear gods, what a whore... C-ko: Well, she did say that she doesn’t *sleep* with anyone other than Malachite. B-ko: She’s still a whore. Leading guys on like that, especially as far as she’s gone with Neflite and Jedite in this ‘fic, makes her just as much of a slut. She had a bond to him. He was her lifemate! D-ko: (sarcastically) Look just how strong that bond must be! I mean, she hasn’t made any sort of protest to being treated this way, and has made no moves to escape, so that bond must be pretty damn strong. That was why she forced other men away from her with her sarcasm and bitchiness, B-ko: What sarcasm, what bitchiness? She hasn’t shown any of those characteristics so far. no matter if she liked them or not. C-ko: O_O No comments. She had to be true to her love! A-ko: My, she sure has been faithful so far, hasn’t she? Zoisite reached out with all her emotion and tried to force them away from her. D-ko: I think an ice-crystal would work much better than an emotion. Hell, even using her *hand* to try and push them away would do more. But they were much too strong! In their lust for her they were too powerful and savage! A-ko: *breaks down sobbing* Gods, I can’t take it any more. It’s too frustrating. Why doesn’t she *teleport*? She panicked. Whimpers came from her throat, little cries of desperation. B-ko: Oh, so *now* she starts to protest? Zoisite cried out to Malachite in her mind, through the special bond that they alone shared. She cried for his help, praying that he would come and save her before it was too late. C-ko: She doesn’t need any saving... D-ko: She shouldn’t, anyway. C-ko: ...but whoever reads this atrocity will need some saving. Her prayers were answered. From far away, Malachite had heard her cry for his help. He burst in, slamming open the tower door, took one look at the situation and was furious. D-ko: Well, at least it didn’t make *him* randy. No one made love to his precious Zoisite but him! With an angry cry, he blasted the two lower generals from his love. They fell to the floor, unconscious. B-ko: Why the fuck didn’t *she* do that? "Malachite..." Zoisite gasped, trying to breathe normally. "My hero," she added telepathically. A-ko: (sarcastically) Oh, that’s so sweet! *vomits* Malachite strode over and tenderly picked up his lover in his arms, wrapping his cape around her nakedness. "Are you hurt?" he asked tenderly. B-ko: I have this strong urge to beat my head repeatedly against a hard surface. A-ko: It’s called frustration, and I think we’re all feeling it quite acutely. Zoisite looked up into those silver-blue eyes that loved her so very much. She shook her head. "I'm okay, now that you're here," she assured her lover. She grinned sheepishly. "I'm a little manhandled, though." D-ko: Can’t this author think of any *good* jokes. All the ones in here have been incredibly lame. Malachite took her sweet mouth in a tender kiss. C-ko: He probably wouldn’t be doing that if he knew where her mouth had been. "Let's get you home," he said. "And I will take care of your body," added Malachite, taking in Zoisite's lovely nude breasts and womanhood. A-ko: I thought he wrapped her up in his cape? B-ko: Besides, it’s not like he hasn’t seen her nude before. C-ko: What about the mission he was on and suddenly abandoned? Zoisite sighed with pleasure as her handsome, strong Malachite carried her off in the safety of his arms. She knew that he was the one for her, now and always. C-ko: What about Neflite and Jedite? Did they just leave them there? Didn’t they suffer any repercussions for their actions? A-ko: I’m just glad that that... that... *thing* is over. B-ko: I need some pain-killers; my head is throbbing. D-ko: Shall we get on to the critiquing, then? B-ko: To make things short and sweet, that was the worst fucking piece of worthless trash I have ever read. It was pointless, it was out of character, and it was dumb. There was no bloody plot. Everything was a damned contrivance. The poor fools who read this piece of shit are given no background on the so-called raid, the circumstances surrounding it, or any of the other background information that a decent fanfiction work has. My suggestion is: if this is the best you can write, do us all a favour and stop posting it where it can harm others. C-ko: Ah, pardon our companion. I believe she is a bit frustrated. B-ko: Just a bit? Gee, what ever gave you that idea? Don’t you dare start apologizing for me either. If this girl felt that her work was worthy of posting where others could read it, then she’s obviously ready for any comments, good or bad, that could come from it. If she gets upset about what I’ve stated, then she may want to rethink posting her writings. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. C-ko: Anyhow, please review the previous MST, as a lot of the comments we gave for that piece also apply here. A-ko: If it wasn’t made obvious in the rant above, the author really needs to work on her plot. Quite frankly, this ‘fic had none. We were tossed into a non-canon setting, with not even a bare physical description of the location, and left there. It made the whole piece seem very fake. If you are going to use a setting like a raid, then give us the who, when, why, where, what and how. Don’t leave your readers hanging like that. D-ko: Finally, please remember that Zoycite has magical abilities. She can levitate, conjure weapons and, yes, even teleport. If she was ever put into a situation like that, she would undoubtedly use them. If she isn’t going to use them, then we need a believable reason why she is not. A-ko: I think that is everything… unless anyone else has something more she would like to add? B-ko: I just want to say that if you ever make me read another ‘fic as bad as this one, I will kill you. C-ko: There were a couple other pieces by this author that we had considered MSTing, but I don’t think any of us can stomach any more. D-ko: Besides, all of our comments would be nearly the same. All of her ‘fics demonstrate a certain lack of real plot, out of character behaviour, bad grammar, and utter pointlessness. To any potential readers, do yourself a favour and avoid her work. .: home :.